On retreat

Some of you will know that I went on an 8-day silent retreat at a place called St Beunos in North Wales after Easter. It’s a Jesuit Spirituality Centre and I’ve been there several times before. Some people have said to me ‘do you really stay silent for 8 whole days? What about meal times? Can’t you even say ‘Hallo’ to people?’ So I thought this month I’d write a little bit about going on retreat. My experience of course may not be yours – retreats, and certainly silent ones, don’t suit everyone! Neither would I suggest trying an 8-day retreat without ‘trying it out’ on a shorter one first. But I find them a helpful way of stepping back and allowing space for God to touch deep within, thus equipping me to love and serve others more fully. So what’s it like ‘on retreat’?

On arrival (and at the last breakfast), of course everyone talked – and we shared the first evening meal together. We then met with our ‘spiritual director’ in a small group – each of us had a director whom we saw on a one-to-one basis every day for about 30-40 minutes to talk about what we were thinking and praying about, struggling with etc. His/her role was to listen and help the individual to discern where God might be leading and to suggest a couple of Bible passages for reflection during the next 24 hours.

So after meeting our director, we went into silence – and yes, apart from seeing our director each day and participating in the daily Eucharist service (where we did sing and share the Peace!), we were in total silence for 8 days. We ate meals together, but everything was laid out so that no-one needed to talk. If you wanted cooked breakfast (as I did!) you simply signed up for it.

‘But what do you do all day?’ Fair question. There’s actually quite a rhythm to a day – mine looked like this: breakfast at 7.45am, followed by a period of prayer and reflection (perhaps writing in my journal, reading the Bible). Meeting with spiritual director at 10.00, coffee, another period of prayer, lunch at 12.20. I usually went for a walk in the hills for an hour or two after lunch – or had a snooze! Tea mid-afternoon, followed by another period of prayer – perhaps including some painting in the art room. Eucharist at 5.45pm followed by supper at 6.30pm. Another period of prayer and reading, then bed!

There were times when it was hard and I certainly got frustrated when I wanted God ‘now’ and he didn’t seem to be there. But equally there were some very powerful moments when I was acutely aware of God’s healing presence with me. ‘So was it enjoyable and relaxing?’ Hmm, not sure – maybe I’d use the word ‘fruitful’.
 
With my prayers,  Jeanette