Letter from the Vicar - Feb 2006 | News From the Pelhams | thePelhams - Brent Pelham, Furneux Pelham and Stocking Pelham

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Letter from the Vicar - Feb 2006

February – often dark and damp and we’re beginning to long for those warm, sunny days of summer. But there are signs of spring in the air – flowers budding, birds nest-building. And along comes St Valentine’s Day – February 14^th. Love is in the air.

Several people have asked me since I arrived “Can we marry in your church?” The answer is sometimes “yes”, sometimes “no” and sometimes “maybe”. I want to try to explain in broad terms the reasons behind those responses. You may not be thinking of marriage – but you may know someone who is. Hopefully, this may help. A wedding in a Church of England church is both a legal and a religious ceremony. The priest acts as the civil registrar, so the regulations are legal requirements which, however much the priest might want to waive, have to be followed.

If at least one of the couple lives in the parish, then they have a right to marry in the church, whether or not they are ‘church-goers’. This applies too to anyone living outside the parish but who is on the church’s electoral role. Banns will be called in church on three Sundays prior to the wedding – a public announcement so that anyone knowing of any lawful impediment to the marriage may object.

If neither of the couple lives in the parish, a wedding in the parish may still be possible by Archbishop’s special licence if strong established links with the parish can be shown. For example, if one of the couple grew up in the parish and their family still lives there, a licence may be granted. Each case is unique, and the Archbishop’s Office looks individually at each application, which has to be made by both the couple and the priest who will officiate.

These are the two main ways of marrying in a specific parish church. It is not, therefore, legally possible simply to choose a church you like! The other factor preventing a marriage may also be if one or both of the couple has been divorced. Marriage by Archbishop’s special licence is usually not possible. If the wedding would be by banns, parish priests are not obliged to marry couples in this situation. However, as the priest in this benefice, I am happy to consider couples where there has been a divorce, although I would want to discuss each case individually. In general, I believe it is important to allow people to acknowledge and move on from past mistakes, but this has of course to be balanced alongside the Christian ideal that marriage vows are a life-long commitment.

All this might sound quite formal. It is, of course, not only because it is a legal requirement, but also because marriage is a serious matter. So whether or not we are married, perhaps we might pause to pray for those preparing to marry this year, that they might grow in their love for one another and for God, whose gift is Love.

With my prayers,
Jeanette